THE VAMPIRE ROOMS

Exclusivity is the name of the game for any aspiring young socialite and for Andrew it seemed as if he'd well and truly arrived as he found his way onto the guest-list at the Vampire Rooms in Liverpool. What started out as a good night however ended in disarray as Andrew quickly hit the bag and grew out of control. He was banned from the Dancefloor (akin to banning Elton john from Interflora) and before he knew what hit him Andrew was alone, out of his gourd and penniless three stories underground. At 2:30AM he surfaced finally, but now Andrew had a real problem for there was seemingly no way for him to get home. Andrew plucked up his energy and did the only thing he could think of, he decided to WALK the 25 miles home. 

Minutes turned into hours as the cityscape gave way to outlying slums and then middle surburbia, but still he had gotten nowhere and now there was a further problem...Andrew needed a shit. With nowhere to go and on a main road Andrew held on for as long as he could before nature got the better of him and he raced around the back of a pub to well and truly "drop the bomb" so to speak. relieved, but dehydrated, sober and exhausted Andrew sat down on the curb to contemplate his next move.

It was at this time that Andrew made a friend. A guardian angel he may not have been but the pimp that andrew befriended (after he ascertained that Andrew was in no physical or financial state to rent a prostitute) offered him a slice of Pizza and some words of encouragement that spurred Andrew on for another few miles.

Eventualy beaten and exhausted he called his mother at around 5:30AM on the sunday morning and had her wake his little sister up and drive down to get him. The next day Andrew was assigned the task of cleaning the inside of the car which had been smeared in excrement.