Ever keen to make a good impression Andrew ventured down to Brighton beach one sunny summer's day, cheeky bottle of Rose in tow, to rendezvous with some American Express employees. Viticulturalist Andrew settled down with his bottle only to find that he had clumsily left his trusty corkscrew at home. Fortunately resourcefulness is one of Andrew's many virtues and he proceeded to use his front door key as a makeshift bottle opener, pressing the pointed tip against the cork and attempting to drive it through the top into the pink liquid below...The fact that wine is bottled in a vacuum and any attempt to condense the contents therein will result i the build up of great pressure alluded Andrew who put his back into the task at hand. Sure enough he was illprepared for the impending release of the pressure that had built up and when the bottle exploded in his hand's he was at once covered in sweet Zinfandel and blood. After a quick rinse in the sea Andrew decided that he was fit to continue with the evening's festivities and put his mangled fingers out of his mind. That night the deep gash in one of his fingers hadn't stopped bleeding, so quick thinking Andrew (who's father is a hand surgeon) decided that he would sleep with his hand upside down in a pint glass so as to limit the mess his spewing blood was causing.
When the morning came around a gaunt and nausseated Andrew looked down at the glass to see a blackened finger hovering above three inches of deep red blood. Conceding he needed help Andrew called the office and advised them he wouldn't be in until mid-morning.
With noway to get to the hospital however after the 999 operator refused to send two paramedics and an ambulance to get a man with a (in Andrew's parlance) "cut finger" Andrew sat down on his bed in somewhat of a quandary. In the end Andrew opted out of seeking medical assistance, deciding instead that he could catch two episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond and a Just Shoot Me re-run before he was due in work!
At 5PM after nearly collapsing through blood loss in his office Andrew finally made it to the emergency room where he was seen almost instantly so medical staff could clean his hand and fit a cast that would enable him to keep his finger which was on he brink of dying.
