In between jobs and commuting between London and Liverpool whilst on the hunt for one Andrew was poverty stricken for the summer of 2006. With England just winning in the world cup group stages and the sun shining in the Coach and Horses beer garden everyone was n jovial mood and all signs pointed to the night being a heavy one. Not wanting to miss the festivities Andrew conjured up a crisp ten pound note from somewhere and bought two bottles of cheap blended wine which he guzzled down in under two hours.
The now near paralytic Andrew was desperate to accompany everyone else into the city centre to continue the party, but alas no-one, it seemed was prepared to back him financially. Taking pity on poor Andrew a consortion of friends decided that they would front £35 between them to help Andrew out...Nothing's free in this world however and Andrew was set a challenge in order to win the money.
One of the member's of the group with the money had recently returned from the playboy club in Houston wherein he was gifted a rare and expensive Monte Cristo cigar. Removed from it's protective case the specimen was 8 inches long and had a girth of two inches, it smelled like a cuban tobacco harvest and contained the faintest susant of chocolate and oak. Enjoyed in the proper surrounding the cigar was designed to be enjoyed over the course of about an hour with a fine congnac or scotch and some thought provoking conversation on the side to accompany. ..Andrew's task was to finish the cigar in it's entirety in three minutes.
A watch was set, a crowd gathered and a match was struck as the inebriated Andrew began puffing away at the thing like a chimney, billows of black smoke spewing from his mouth like Battersea power-station in the 1960's! visibly struggling to physically hold down the amount of chemicals entering his lungs Andrew began to grimace and hack with every breath, yet never broke his electric pace and somehow continued to shorten the cigar a millimeter at a time. two minute in and Andrew had somehow managed to half the cigar's length, but he was physically exhausted, drunk as a child at Neverland and could barely breathe due to the amount of Carbon monoxide and Dioxide clinging to his insides. He took ten seconds to catch his breath, breathing like a freediver who's just been 200 meters beneath the ocean for 5 minutes and then with one final Herculean effort began dragging the remaining cigar down. The crowd cheered as it began vanishing around the 30 second mark and only two inches remained...then one and a half...then one...and just as the clock struck zero Andrew howled in agony as he sucked burning tobacco embers into his mouth, jumping to his feet and spilling wine all over the table in the process.
Andrew couldn't speak for over 24 hours and instead of basking in his victorious achievement spent his night out asleep at a club in the city centre.
