ARCHIMEDES

A devout Animal lover Andrew was extatic one sunday moring to find a hedgehog in his back garden. Deciding he wanted to keep it as a pet Andrew carefully put netting around his garden to prevent little "Archimedes" as he came to be known, escaping. He also put netting over the garden pond so as to ensure he wouldn't fall in.

It was time for Church no sooner had he finished securing Archimedes' garden home and Andrew bid the little creature goodbye, trundling down the street for Mass.

On return an hour later Andrew headed straight for the garden to play with his new pet, yet Archimedes was nowhere to be found. Fearful that he had escaped Andrew began checking every corner of the garden until he evntually located him. Whilst quenching his thirst at Andrew's pond little Archimedes had become entangled in the net's that had been placed down for his 'safety' and ended up drowning!

A distraught Andrew began digging a grave in the flower bed so as to give the brave little hedgehog a proper send off, but sadly the plot he had chosen was about two inches two short to fit him in. So Andrew did what he was sure any self-respecting animal lover would do under the circumstances; he began to drive the spade through archimedes to sever him in half. Once the procedure was complete Andrew placed all the 'bits' of Archimedes in a bloody heap and covered him over.